The Good Place

As I sat sipping my coffee and reading my Parents magazine while Lucy was still asleep this morning, it dawned on me how far I've come at relaxing as a parent. Much to Justin's frustration, I have a towering stack of unread Parents magazines that I can't bring myself to throw out. I keep telling myself that I will read them "someday." I couldn't even remember what was holding me back from reading them until my mom heard me talking about an article and reminded me that reading them used to make me too anxious. I had completely forgotten the reason I bulked at reading them. It's true though. Reading any kind of parenting "advice" magazines, online articles, or blogs made me very anxious. They seemed to always be throwing statistics at me saying if you do or don't do this, X% of kids will end up like this. How could I possibly remember everything I was and was not supposed to do to ensure Lucy's success in life? The pressure to parent perfectly, especially during the first year, was weighing heavily on me. I was always worried that I wasn't talking to her enough, holding her enough, or teaching her enough. It was a worry that laid heavy on my mind most of the time. It was compounded with the busyness of moving when Lucy was 7 months old. We made a big change in scenery when we moved from a big city to a familiar small town. However we bought a house that needed a lot of work right away, plus Justin was commuting an hour and half (at least!) each way. So that left me to unpack in the midst of mild construction while also making sure I was talking to, holding, and teaching Lucy enough. To say I was stressed is a HUGE understatement. It was definitely one of the most challenging times of my life. But now, I sit in the quiet of the morning, our house has been construction free for a few months now, and everything has finally found a place in our home. Now that Lucy is 16 months old I am finally able to relax and be a in a "good place" about parenting. We have definitely found our groove together. She is very vocal (although not saying very many words), and she understands what I'm saying a lot of the time. Reading Parents magazine is much more enjoyable now. I am able to discern between what is good advice for Lucy's and my situation right now, and what I can let go about because my intuition will tell me everything I need to know. I know that the key to successful parenting cannot be found in a written article, but instead in your child. Lucy will tell me in one way or another what she needs from me :)